Memorial Day

I get pretty emotional on Memorial Day.

It's probably because I was raised in an era where we were taught the Pledge of Allegiance and "The Star Spangled Banner" right from kindergarten. My parents instilled in me the value of this country and the respect for the men who fought for it.

Every Memorial Day, my father donned his uniform and proudly marched in a parade and then stood at attention for the ceremony at the graves of soldiers who lost their lives. He would have been so proud to have seen his own funeral with the regiment of veterans who stood at attention, fired a 21-gun salute and played taps.

There are two places I've been that have moved me beyond words. The first was the Vietnam Wall in Washington, D.C. The other was Ground Zero in New York City. Both move me not because of politics or religion, but because of the number of people who died in the name of Freedom.

I'm old enough that I still remember where I was and what I was doing when President Kennedy was shot. And now I, along with the rest of the nation, will always remember that Tuesday morning getting ready for work, hearing Katie Couric announce that a plane had hit the World Trade Center, and then the realization a few precious minutes later that it was not just a freak accident. The horror of watching everything unfold that day will haunt many of us. Hopefully we will never forget and always remember the brave firefighters who never hesitated going into those towers, knowing that there was a chance they might not come back out. I'm certainly not made of that kind of stuff but I admire and revere it.

I also will never forget the first Gulf War, when my only son was in the Navy. He was in training at the time but because it was top-secret he was never allowed to tell me where he was or what he was doing. I arrived at work bleary-eyed many times during that period of time from being up most of the night watching television reports on the war. Only recently has he given any indication of what he was doing and I wish I still didn't know to this day!

Yes, I'm pretty emotional this year about Memorial Day. Maybe it's because I never thought to thank my dad for the sacrifices he made in World War II or appreciate what saluting our flag means or appreciate how moving the words to "The Star Spangled Banner" are.

I think I'm going to travel to my dad's grave this weekend and have a little talk with him.

I'm Puttin' On My Dancin' Shoes!

From early on in my first marriage, I was not allowed to listen to "sinful" music. Unfortunately, my ex-husband considered everything that was on the radio to be "sinful" so I pretty much missed out on everything from mid-70s through the 90s. It's still amazing to me that I ever paid any attention to the man, but that's another story!

Lately I have discovered all the music that I missed out on and what a treat it's been! Of course, being married to a former DJ from that era who has ALL the music doesn't hurt! I missed out on disco, I missed out on Kool and the Sunshine Gang, I missed out on Escape Club, I missed out on Abba, I missed out on Anita Baker..... But now I am discovering some awesome music! The more I hear, the more I want to hear.

What a shame that I've missed out on so much, including music, in the last few decades. But for now, I'm going to put on my dancin' shoes and turn up "Wild, Wild West" a few notches!

Shutter-buggy!

I think I've become a full-fledged shutterbug. I'm not really sure, since I'm not sure what that all entails.

Does it mean that I carry my camera everywhere with me, even to work? Does it mean that I always have a tripod in the trunk of my car? Does it mean that I'm never in any photos, just the photo-taker?

I can answer yes to all the above questions, so I think I qualify!

Photography is definitely my favorite hobby, and has been for quite a few years. I must have inherited the love from my father, who always had a camera in his hand, no matter where we were or what we were doing. I'm convinced that he would have been enthralled with digital cameras and would have had several by now. I caught his bug and have always been the family photo-journalist. Right after digial cameras went on the market, I bought my first and have never returned to film.

My son has a website and has allowed me to post pictures there. Check them out at:
www.robparsonsproject.com/gallery

Recently I bought my first SLR camera. It's a Nikon D70s and I when I bought it, I also bought 2 lenses for it. What a differnce! There is no comparison between digital SLR and other digital cameras. I enjoy it so but there is definitely a learning curve. My favorite shooting is macro but I'm having trouble with getting the depth of field the way I want it. I will just keep experimenting until I get it right! This weekend I actually took my camera OFF of AUTOMATIC and changed some settings!!

I may not be a shutterbug yet but I think I'm on the right path.

What Is Your Favorite ...

I got an interesting e-mail from my granddaughter recently. Evidently, in order to "get to know your friends," you are supposed to answer all these questions and then send them on to all your friends. I haven't quite figured out how that exactly works, since the only people who would get the answers would be the ones that you sent it on to, not the one that sent it to you, but I supposed teenagers don't think of that. Or maybe they don't care....

Anyhow, I think I'll answer the questions and see how I shape up!

1. What time is it? 9:11 pm
2. Name: Judee Lankenau
3. Name that appears on birth certificate: Judith Lee Light
4. Nicknames: Jude, Jules, Sweetie, Honey-pie.....(Not really, just wanted to make you puke!)
5. Number of candles on last birthday cake: Enough that the fire department was called out....!
6. Pets: Bonnie, Mia, Sophie & Shelby
7. Hair color: Who remembers?? Only my hairdresser REALLY knows!
8. What friend would have the most entertaining answers? Rob for sure.
9. Eye color: Absolutely brown
10. How much do you love school on a scale of 1 to 10? 12
11. Birthplace: Logan, Ohio
12. Current Residence: Columbus, Ohio
13. Favorite food: Anything Mexican
14. Been to Africa: Why?
15. Love some one so much made you cry? YES
16. Been in a car accident? Does running my dad's car into a ditch because I was watching a totally hot guy across the street count as an accident?
17. Crutons or Bacon Bits? Neither; one word - cholesterol!
18. Favorite day of the week? Any day not at work.
19. Fave word or pharse: KOOL BEANS!
20. Favorite restaurant: Chili Verde
21. Favorite flower? Yellow rose
22. Favorite sport: Is kissing a sport?
23. Fave drink? Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper
24. Favorite ice cream? Sugar-free chocolate
25. Fave fast food restaurant? Wendy's
26. What color is your bedroom carpet? The only carpet in my bedroom is a fine film of cat hair....
27. Besides this one, what was your last e-mail? A dear friend of mine I haven't seen for years.
28. Which store would you use all your money at? Half-Price Books or Microcenter
29. What do you do when you are bored? Write stupid blogs....
30. Bedtime? Depends on who is in the bed...
31. Who will respond to this e-mail quickest? No one!
32. Favorite tv show? House
33. Ford or chevy? Suzuki!
34. Favorite song? Abba's "One of Us"
35. Time you finshed this e-mail? 9:26 pm

Well, that wasn't as painful as I thought it would be! If I sent this back to my granddaughter, I might just get a call from my daughter, don't you think?!

Families Are Not Just About Blood Anymore...

This photo is of my mother (on the right) and her twin brother. I know this because my mother told me, not because it was written anywhere on the back or front of the photo.

I think about this every time I go to Cracker Barrel and see all the old photos hanging on the walls there. Those photos are probably ones that have ended up on those walls because someone went through Grandma's attic and couldn't figure out who they were!

I love looking through old pictures of relatives and I have to admit that I have some pictures that there is not a clue as to who the people are. I know they must be relatives, otherwise they wouldn't be in my possession. Someone has passed these on to me.

Then there are the boxes of MY pictures. Sure, I know who these people are NOW, but will I in another 20 years? Will my grandchildren going through these photos someday have any clue? Do I put names and dates on my photos? Of course not!

The other problem I have is that the definition of family has changed so much in the last few decades. I have grandchildren who have had several sets of grandparents and step-grandparents already. There is a step-grandson who has been adopted by his step-father so even though he is a "blood" relative, he doesn't have the same last name. And what about his half-brother? Does that make him a grandchild or not? Of course it does! What child doesn't need another set of grandparents!

I have decided that I need to sit down and write down my entire family history, complete with photos, so that my children, grandchildren, and future generations will know their ancestry. If I don't write it down, it may be lost forever.

First I have to find the time, then I have to figure out how in the world I will ever adequately explain my Aunt Dee Dee....

Cat Hair -- Don't Leave Home Without It!

I never fancied myself as a "cat" person. Ever. I always thought of cats as sneaky, conniving, evil, dirty creatures. Sort of lawyers in fur coats.

Of course, that was before I ever was introduced to cats.

Now, I am proudly owned by two cats! (You never own a cat, they own you!) One cat was from a rescue facility and she chose me; the other was adopted from a friend and was only seven weeks old at the time. They both have totally different personalities and are both totally loving and devoted creatures. There is nothing as soothing at night as a kitten by your head purring!

I had to take Sophie (the rescued cat) to the vet recently for her yearly check-up. While there, I told the vet that I was having a little problem with Sophie. It seems that Sophie doesn't want me to be late for work so if I'm not up precisely at 6 am, she proceeds to make sure I get up! She jumps on me and if that doesn't work, she opens the inside shutters. Then if that doesn't work, she starts knocking things off the dresser! Unfortunately she doesn't understand the concept of WEEKENDS! Plus, if I sleep on my side, Sophie will wake me up because she wants me on my back so that she can lie on my chest.

The vet just looked at me and said, "Sophie has you trained very well, doesn't she?"

Excuse me while I go cough up a hairball.....

D..I..V..O..R..C..E.....

Divorce....It's not just a sad country song any longer.

I had hoped that my children would find the perfect spouses and live happily ever after. I even stayed in my own rotten marriage a lot longer than I wanted to, or even should have, because I wanted to set a good example for my children, that marriage was FOREVER.

As a mother, sometimes I feel like I corner the market on guilt. Did staying in a bad marriage make it harder for my children to find their own happiness? Did I think that being miserable made me a better parent? I guess I'll never know, and I guess I'll always wonder. Now I have two daughters -- one who is almost 36 and has been divorced twice, getting ready to marry for the 3rd time; and another daughter who is 32 and just now going through divorce #2.

Heather, the 32-year-old, is the one I worry most about right now. She has two beautiful boys, ages 7 and 6, who don't need this in their lives. Logan (7) is so sensitive and quiet and Austin (6) is autistic. This is going to be so hard on them. Even Heather doesn't want this. She was blind-sided by a husband who came home one night with tales of "We don't have the same core value systems any longer" and "I love you but not enough to stay married to you." Translation (thanks to a small town grapevine) is that he has a new girlfriend. So how does he go about the divorce but to totally trash Heather and file for custody of the boys. I'm sure he can't get it because Heather is an awesome mom, but it's still crushing to watch Heather go through this.

Wednesday is the custody hearing and I've been subpoenaed as a witness for her. It must scare me more than I realize because I keep having nightmares. Last night I dreamed I was on a cruise ship and the hearing was being held there! I was in my pajamas and it was 15 minutes before the hearing and I had forgotten. Heather came to me and asked me if I was still coming to be a witness so I hurried to my room but got lost! I kept looking and looking for my room because there was just a few minutes left...... and then I woke up!

I worry about failing my children again. I think this is more painful for me than for them in a lot of ways.

When Life Gives You Lemons....

The older I get, the more reflective I get about life. Maybe that's true of a lot of people, but lately I have spent more time thinking about the "what ifs" than I probably should. The last ten years of my life have been pretty traumatic, so maybe that's part of it, but I am trying to see the positives that have come from all the things that have happened!

First of all, trying to deal with divorce after 31 years of marriage had a huge impact on my life. It probably was less traumatic than it could have been since the divorce was MY idea and my initiative. But even still, you lose that half of your family. My mother always told me that when you become divorced or widowed you lose your married friends. Once again, Mother was right. Within six months, I'm not married for the first time (in forever!), alone for the first time, new job, new boss, first time living in a city, no friends, family grown and gone... It's culture shock!

Once I dealt with all that, along come more "lemons."

In 1995, I tripped over a dog on my back porch, and somehow managed to fall into a brick ledge with my head! The effects from that one fall, one fraction of a second in my life, are still part of my life today. I had to have a laminectomy in 1996 because the fall caused my spinal canal to swell and there was no room left for my spinal cord. Then after I moved to the big city, I managed to rupture three discs in my neck that were bulging as a result of the fall. In 2001, I had to have those discs fused. I still have problems with my back because now I have a disc that protrudes from the spinal column and is pinching the nerves. Fortunately, there is another option than surgery, lumbar spinal injections. I had three injections last summer with fantastic results. This winter I underwent two more injections and still have the option of a third if I need it. So far, I haven't needed it! Right now I am pain-free and enjoying every second! As long as I can avoid surgery, I will continue with the injections. It is wonderful to once again enjoy walking and hiking -- and I will keep doing those as long as I can!

Along with all of this, I have also dealt with cataracts (How can I be THAT old?!) and an illness that will affect me for the rest of my life. But I am determined that this disease will not be the way I will be known; it will not rule me, I will overcome it and be that much better for it! I will live my life as an example to others who deal with this disease!

Life has given me lemons a few times, but just like the saying, I think I've managed to make some lemonade. It may have taken me a while to pull myself back up, but I am a stronger, healthier, more compassionate person than I was ten years ago.

Go ahead, life -- bring on some more lemons because I can handle them!!

Choo-Choo Ecstacy!

Yesterday I went to the Franklin Park Conservatory with son, daughter-in-law and grandson,Oscar. Every spring the Conservatory has an outdoor railroad display, with several model trains running throught the garden. It's all right but certainly not the first thing I gravitate toward at the Conservatory.

Not so with Oscar! He has not seen the train exhibit since last summer but has never forgotten it. Every time we went to the Conservatory, even last winter, the first thing he would shout as soon as we drove into the parking lot was, "Choo-choo!"

Yesterday we weren't even sure if the trains would be running, because of rain. I don't even want to think what would have happened in a case like that! But, thankfully, the trains were running, and Oscar was SO excited! He kept running from train to train, following trains, and at one point when there were two trains, one on each side of him, he didn't know what to do! I think the picture I've added says it all. There is nothing like a 2-year-old and his favorite thing in the world!

Sometimes I wish I could be that open and honest with others. Just run screaming and squealing when I'm having fun or enjoying something. Why do we have to be "adults" and not have the fun that kids have?!

Let's have a kid day for all of us adults!

Shingles..... AGAIN!

I hate to admit this but I have had such a hard time figuring out how to do a post! Guess this really makes me a novice, right?! Hopefully I can remember how I got here...

Thing is, I have shingles again. I've had them so many times that I've lost count. This has got to be the 20th time and I'm SICK of getting shingles. According to MedicineNet.com:

Shingles is a skin rash caused by the same virus that causes chickenpox. The virus responsible for these conditions is called Varicella zoster. After an individual has chickenpox, this virus lives in the nerves and is never fully cleared from the body. Under certain circumstances, such as emotional stress, immune deficiency (from AIDS or chemotherapy) or with cancer, the virus re- activates causing shingles. In most cases, however, a cause for the reactivation of the virus is never found. The herpes virus that causes shingles and chicken pox is not the same as the herpes virus that causes genital herpes (which can be sexually transmitted) and herpes mouth sores. Shingles is medically termed Herpes zoster.

Okay, so I don't have AIDS or cancer.... Could it be STRESS???? Nah........!!! Thankfully I get them only on the right side of my head, along my hairline. Easily hidden by hair, and certainly not irritated by clothing, so it could be much worse. Still aggrevating!!

So, how does one get rid of stress? Currently I am working full time, taking classes part time, have 3 grown (??) children, 1 step-son, 2 step-step-daughters, 11 grandchildren, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a pile of laundry that never gets any smaller. I suppose I need to cut out some things of my life, but what? I guess I could forget the laundry but it would get expense buying new undies every week!

One of these days, I'll have to decide.....